Knight Of The Caffeine Realm T-Shirts

"Don't talk to me before discover coffee."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

You've Had Enough!

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I'm trying to lure in Generation X-ers. They're the new sandwich generation. They're sandwiched between caring for their kids and caring for their parents. So they drink lots and lots of coffee."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'You've had enough!'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

I am coffee and I need more coffee

"He can't be disturbed right now. He's in a meeting with his first cup of coffee."

Hang on, I need to find an outlet for my phone, computer and coffee maker. Caf

'Put down the coffee mug. I forget what you look like.'

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"You took your time!" "Better latte than never"

"Eewww! It still makes a lousy cup of coffee!"

Coffee-Rex: Even more irritable than a Tea-Rex.

The-We-Don't-Do-Cappuccino Bookshop

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

"I'm fine. It's coffee."

Can I get you another coffee?

"A barista should always follow his instincts."

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

"... And the cold foam cascara nitro goes to Lazarus!"

Darlene? Rudy? I heard you might be hanging out here. I thought I'd come by just to say hello and see how you're doing. That's nice. Coffee King. I love you. Hence Coffee King. House of Java.

"You gave her coffee again, didn’t you?"

The 6 A.M. News Team

"Well, no wonder they're more producive than us."

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."

"Sweet! He upgraded with a cup holder!"

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

Cafe. He's a caffeine addict. Nobody can match his intake. An espresso machine!

Billy strip: bed pan.