Kitty Couch Analyst Pillows

"Is your regret that there were three of them or that they were blind?"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Cats on the couch.

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'That's a full ten minutes with the TV off. What now?'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

"I am a control freak."

"You know I always sit there for my keep fit programme!"

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

"I've seen this film ten times and it's still awful."

"This is for all the things you have already heard about via social media."

Mud Slinging

WARNING - This Programme Contains No Strong Language.....

"Why can't you just bat the ball of yarn around like other cats?"

"I want you to be open and honest and to not leave any hair on the couch."

"It doesn't matter. They give us the same food no matter where we are."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

If you're going to wear a GoPro, Larry, you have to actually go.

'Hon...Why do we have tumbleweed rolling across the living room floor?' 'That's not tumbleweed...The dog is shedding again.'

'He's training for the London Marathon,he watches it every year.'

'I've had four litters and I don't get as much as a head butt on Mothers Day.'

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

"Hmm, that's interesting, but can you ask the voices in your head to zip it till I hear the score?"

'Next we have a fabulous double-play combo - two players, one low price!'