Kitchen Statistician T-Shirts

Granny with balanced pie chart

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Lady of the Cake.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Domestic Goddess.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Kitchen Kapers

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

Lockdown casserole

"I just need help getting the pit out."

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"It's called geometry, Mum."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

Cake Friday!

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

In the DNA Kitchen

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

Witch's Brew.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'Cooking'

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."