Kitchen Scientist T-Shirts

'If only making the perfect soft-boiled egg was as easy in practice as in theory.'

'The biochemist at work' The biochemist at lunch'.

"I don't know if it was the peanut butter and mayonnaise sandwich or the pickle milkshake I had for lunch!"

Those four microwave dings you just heard indicate that dinner is ready, Lance. Hop to it! Unlike some individuals I know, I am not one of Pavlov's wolverines.

Five seconds before the first turducken.

How to Avoid Tears when Peeling Onions

Heston Blumenthal Kitchen Appliances - Sale.

Woman wearing t-shirt reading 'I married a chemist.'

Under strict laboratory conditions extensive research proves that, despite being watched, pots do eventually boil.

The Hardon Colander.

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

Molecular gastronomy.

'Liam! This recipe book says it's delicious!'

'I just have time to make some toast, analyze its particle sizes, its density, its chemisorption...'

The History of Anti-stick

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"States of tofu"

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'I have to agree -- the value of pie goes on indefinitely.'

Lockdown casserole

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"