Kitchen Pun Fan Pillows

Some men are born great and some have gratings thrust upon them.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Chicken Little Inc. Pecking Order.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

Cupid misses his shot.

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

Office supplies - Notebooks, memo pads and rap sheets.

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

'You've got swine flu and I think it's begun to mutate.'

"It's made with real angel hair."

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Your mom's a very special person."

"This isn't what I had in mind, when you said you were going to buy me some waterfront property."

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

To keep cool in the summer, Victor installed a whole-house flan.

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"The deal looks cut and dried to me but Haskins smells a rat."

(Omi God! Pigs in a blanket!)

"Nothing to worry about. A nuggetectomy is a very simple procedure."

'Maybe you should try flowers?'

"Father Michael has a wicked sense of humour."

Wordilly Durdillies - A cow putt

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

'Satchel, I have a hunch...'

Sir Isaac Newton discovers even more gravity.

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

Russian eggs.

"I hear this place is a hotbed of international pancakes."

"That sounds interesting - What is it?"

'I don't think much of the punchline.'

'Sorry...I forgot to mention i'm Dishlexic.'