Kitchen Party Pillows

Tupperware Wolf

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Face painting by numbers.

Too much cilantro

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"When portions are this huge, I eat half now and the rest in a few minutes."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"It was a cheese and wine party but the mice got there first!"

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Children's Party

Salt and Pepper

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'The Ambassador will not be pleased, Madame.'

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"