Kitchen Novice With Big Dreams T-Shirts

'Ta Da! A brand new set of festive outdoor dinnerware for all my summer entertaining!!'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

I made you a cake!

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

The Inexperienced Cook

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Maybe we shouldn't show how sausage and foie gras are made on the same day.'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"Do you have an Isa?"

"While the chef's dishes tonight are rather bland, his ideas are fresh and appealing."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."