Kitchen Multitasker Pillows

'On a scale of 1 to 10 how irritating do I find telephone surveys?...'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Fitness Programme for babies

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

Hassled Mother.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Creative entrepreneur at work

'I suppose you realize that when I tell everyone back at the office about this you wont be able to tele-commute anymore.'

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

'I caught him watching tv, surfing the net, and playing video games ..book him!'

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

Magic coat fixing problems while walking the dog.

'The 'Business Man's Lunch?' The chicken salad comes served in a laptop.'

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

"Hey. Where the hell's my harmonica?"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

'I'm a communication expert because I can eat crisps, drink beer, read the news and talk to my wife while watching TV!'

DIY pedicure

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

"Day care worker's delight: Velcro diapers"