Domestic Task Multitasker Pillows

"I prefer sawn-off arrows. They double up as knitting needles for the wife.2

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Excuse me a moment, whilst I just change hats."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"I was finishing my homework in the shower to save time!"

Hassled Mother.

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Homeschooling

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

'It's an audio book: I'm too busy to read books...'

'The Doctor says you can be discharged - so I've brought you a list of jobs you can do when you get home!'

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

"These days I do a little sub-editing on the side too!"

Having It All

"What?!"

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

"Everything I needed to know I learned from my mother - but I usually follow up with a YouTube video for verification purposes."

'I spent today with out spindoctor, and boy, am I dizzy.'

"Okay, I'll change your diaper, but you better not tell any of my patients."

The Swiss Arm-y Wife

"...I've only got four pairs of hands you know"

'Who's gonna tell her she's wearing two different shoes?'

Stroller Cellphone

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"