Kitchen Makeover Guru T-Shirts

'Can you tell me how my new kitchen is coming along?'

Come dine with me!

Lady of the Cake.

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Hungry child

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

Benihana style of cooking.

Too much cilantro

'I hope you like this, dear. I got the recipe from Gordon Ramses, latest cookery hieroglyphics.'

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

A Day In The Kitchen

"I just need help getting the pit out."

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

GMOs: The Next Generation

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

Cake Friday!

Toast: the high energy food

Witch's Brew.

'My brother's a proper cook - he's come as a witness'

Surprise in the salad bowl

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"I can't make it out - on the packet it said radishes."

'Cooking'

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"Voila!...smooth pastry." (Lady teaching chef to iron dough).

The Perfect Foil

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"