Kitchen King/queen Gifts

Octopus

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Counting ribs

Domestic Goddess.

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

Too much cilantro

"Take me to your Larder!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

"Good news! She's asking for her Banana Republic and Williams-Sonoma catalogues."

Salt and Pepper

The Perfect Foil

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

"If there's any one lesson we've learned from the eighties, it's how to shop!"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Sweet surprise.

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

Will work for Food Network.

The secret lives of household things.

Entertainment systems

'My mom bakes from scratch -- she's a full-service mom.'

"If they don't show up soon I'll have to admit I forgot to invite them."