Kitchen High Jinks Pillows

"Oh yes, I proudly served."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Man's cooking explodes.

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

"OK, now another guy found a feather in his soup! One of you is molting, and I need to know who!"

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

Chef copy robot

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

"Impressive, yes, but what exactly is a black belt in cookery?"

Husband bakes a pie

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Gigot de sept heures."

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Avocado Timeline

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"More helium."

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Do you want toast with that?'

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I had the recipe upside down, so it's beefed corn.'

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

Post Game Day Betting.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

A man flips a pancake onto a child's head

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).