Kitchen Drama Fan Gifts

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

"Wanna do lunch?"

"And then, after they were done with their bodies, they baked them at 350 degrees for an hour."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

'Safe!'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

Nigella Lawson

"Say hello to my little friend!"

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Russian eggs.

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

"Run for it, sir—the cops!"

'If you must know - the only thing rotten in the State of Denmark are your sneakers!'

"I knew it was a mistake to order our wedding cake from your ex-husband's bakery!"

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

Operating table.

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

'Do it again.'

"Well, I just assumed you wanted your toast like your coffee."

'As you see, the wine breaks down the veal and the vegetables almost immediately--as for your lens cover, I can't really say.'

"Your food should be out shortly - just waiting for the exterminators to finish mopping up."

'Sorry...I forgot to mention i'm Dishlexic.'

Grannys Country Kitchen

'That's a male-pattern bald-faced untruth.'

"You have brought sunshine to my life and now I must say good-bye."

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'