Kitchen Diy Enthusiast Pillows

"To keep prices down, we require you to cook your own food, wait in yourselves and wash your dishes."

"Young Frankenstein"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Self help acupuncture

Domestic Goddess.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

Tool Box

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

Do it yourself books.

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."