Kitchen Curator Gifts

Welcome to the Museum of One's Kitchen

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"Hold it right there, ma'am! If you get too close to the artwork, I'll have to ask you to leave the gallery."

Squirrels Stockpiling Mulling Spices for Winter

Paul Klee

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Projectile painting.'

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

It's a call from Tate modern.

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

Kiddies Menu for Witches

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

Ghostbasters 3

"The new house is almost ready!"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

Books / Coffee table books

"This is one of her more important paintings from her early period."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

The perfectionist.

"That must be the artist over there."

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

Kapoor & Piss-poor (Anish Kapoor sculpture beside Marcel Deschamps urinal)

Francoise Gilot

"I could do that."

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"He's left out the staples"

'Hey, 'Houdini', after you figure out how to levitate the cork ou tof the bottle, I can use your magic at the kitchen sink.'