Kitchen Crusader Gifts

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

Heading towards the In-Sink-Erator... 'Nooooooo!!'

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'I'm a self-starter unfortunately I'm also a self-finisher.'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Alexander the Greater.

"I say it's genetically altered, and I say the hell with it."

"Don't ever tell me how to cook again!"

"Give her a few minutes, she just realized she's reached the age when you get excited by things like air fryers."

'You and your insensitive 'what is it?'!'

"You can go to the anarchist rally when you've finished the dishes."

'As far as I'm concerned, this kitchen is the real environmental hazard!'

"Dinner is on the table. Just not prepared."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

'Maybe your dad can beat up my dad, but my dad can dry dishes better than your dad.'

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

"Is it my fault this kitchen roll napkin rolls over instead of under?"

The trap

"Mom said you should empty the dishwasher since I helped her update her phone and computer. It pays to be smart."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'Can you hang on till he finishes the washing-up?'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'My hubby is a self made man.'

'We'll have to eat out tonight - the meatloaf turned on me.'

"Chef, the salads are ready, the meat is seasoned, and you're washing your hands in the soup."

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

I can't take your criticism any more - spoil you own dinner.

Chef walking out

'I don't mind reversing roles...it's just that I'm getting bored with all the usual ways of doing chicken.'

Rat with a suggestion for a messy kitchen.

"Yo, Mr. 'Knight of the Round Table' — this isn’t cilantro, it’s parsley."