Kitchen Commissar T-Shirts

"You can stop the pain, Marcel. Just show us how to crust a sea bass."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

Allotment

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Kitchen Kapers

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Lockdown casserole

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

In the DNA Kitchen

'Cooking'

Chef copy robot

Ghostbasters 3

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.