Kitchen Chief T-Shirts

The problem with my disposal? It's garbage in, garbage out.

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Kitchen Kapers

Too much cilantro

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

Salt and Pepper

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

The Perfect Foil

Chef copy robot

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

Ghostbasters 3

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'Cooking'

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

A chef teaches a classroom of other chefs how to properly flip something using a spatula.

"I got the part, but I play a waiter."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Will work for Food Network.

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

The secret lives of household things.

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Funky Chef 2