Kitchen Chaos Conqueror Gifts

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Good afternoon-I'm with the city. They've hired me to make spot food checks!'

Tuppermalware

'Ah, you can't beat simple home cooking!'

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"How come we have so many cookery books cluttering up the kitchen?...I mean, you obviously don't read any of them."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Cookbooks

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

Man's cooking explodes.

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

“Our numbers grow greater and greater. Soon the era of the spices will be at hand”

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Do you know I fought an hour with that salmon you're eating."

Ten out of ten for effort...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Girl who can't cook meets guy who can't fix stuff.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Well, what did you expect on the mother ship?

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"The 'Queer Eye' people came by - but they fled."

Chef De Party.

"You know, statistically speaking, at least one of these gingerbread men is gay."

Disaster in the kitchen.

"The night raid on the kitchen bench was a disaster sir! The owner woke up, came downstairs for a glass of water and attacked us!"

Cooking

'Gary freaked out a bit and went way off the griddle.'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.