Culinary Chaos Conqueror Gifts

Pot washer.

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Cafe Burns.

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Am Awful Crammer.

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'You made me jump.'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

A woman's work is never done!

Cooking With Pollock.

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

Woman in need of an extractor fan.

"Here comes the tossed salad!"

Tsunami in the cooking pot.

Out and In.

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"Larry's made new friends learning to cook. He knows everyone at the Recipe Emergency Hotline."

"You've actually done something even Gordon Ramsay can't do-burn the salad!"