Culinary Chaos Connoisseur Gifts

Thanksgiving Dinner Highlights

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

Man's cooking explodes.

Cafe Burns.

Vegetable Cook

Ten out of ten for effort...

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

'You made me jump.'

Disaster in the kitchen.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

Cook au vin

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

"Glad you have time for lunch today, honey."

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'