Culinary Chaos Gifts

A short-order cook gets sucked into the exhaust vent over the grill.

'There's a lamb chop in my soup.' 'So that's where it is.'

Good grief! What did we order?!

"I was looking at a food site, and I left the tab open overnight. Judging by the bugs, the food went bad."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"Bungle the flip! Bungle the flip!"

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Man's cooking explodes.

Cafe Burns.

Ten out of ten for effort...

Recipe involving the switching off of the smoke alarm...

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

Anti-inflammation recipes

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

It's all gravy.

Waiter' You betta stop that food fight, you SILLY fools! Here comes the Maitre D' !'

'You made me jump.'

Chef's Specials - Hissy Fits, Shouting and Swearing, Pompus Indigestion.

Cooking With Pollock.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"All right, we straighten this out immediately! René threw the bouillabaisse at Jacques, no? The Jam-bon en croûte was thrown by Jacques at René, correct? The truite en gelée and the fraises des bois were thrown by François at Henri, and Henri threw the mousse au chocolat at François, and . . ."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Don't blame me - It's my husband's cooking!'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Let's forget the duck de la margola and order something else!' (man seeing duck fleeing from cook).