Kitchen Catastrophist Gifts

"IOU 1 BAGEL."

"Did I turn off the stove."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Hello..? is that the 'burnt soup hotline..?'"

"So, that's 'flambe'..."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'My hero!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

Dave's How to Puke Book.

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

"Honey, dinner's ready! I just have to find it."

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!