Kitchen Catastrophist Gifts

"IOU 1 BAGEL."

"Did I turn off the stove."

'What we were about to receive has gone the way of all flesh.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"It was meant to be a surprise romantic dinner for two, but to cut a long story short, it's been a recipe for disaster."

"Hello..? is that the 'burnt soup hotline..?'"

"So, that's 'flambe'..."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

Roasted

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

The world's worst restaurant. Now under new bad management.

'My hero!'

'Barry, I think I know where you left the champagne bottle.'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

'Not beans on toast again.' - 'No, toast on beans. I dropped it.'

'We've finished the dishes, Miss. Jenny washes, I wiped, and Susan picked up all the pieces.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

'Believe it or not you're our greatest liability Jones!'

'Honey, I think you have an error message coming in from the kitchen.'

"What are you looking up, recipes for disaster?"

"...Oh no, not you. You couldn't be satisfied with one saucepan..."

'Please stand by. We have temporary loss of your roast.'

"That's not the boiling oil, that's my casserole!"

"There's something wrong with your dinner."

Dave's How to Puke Book.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Honey, come eat your oatmeal before it sets!

"I followed the recipe and this is where it led me."

'That new recipe didn't quite work out. Do you fancy popping down to the chippy?'

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

'Not to worry Flo - It's only Sid's dinner.'