Kitchen Camaraderie Fan Pillows

"Wanna do lunch?"

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'I started out washing dishes, but when the dishwater tasted better than the soup...'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

Wedding Chefs

The Charge of the Kids

"Are you as excited as I am?"

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

Cook and Octopus

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

"Your mom's a very special person."

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

JERRY SPRINGER'S GUESTS TODAY

Nigella Lawson

Russian eggs.

Ducks on Trucks

'Yum Yum Bakery - a subsidiary of Slim-Down Weight Loss Centres.'

'Sorry...I forgot to mention i'm Dishlexic.'

Why do you always get to ash and I always have to dry?

'As you see, the wine breaks down the veal and the vegetables almost immediately--as for your lens cover, I can't really say.'

Big Brother

"Mmm. The soup du jour is not cream of mushroom. It is not tomato or celery, it is not chicken, nor is it Scotch broth. It is most definitely not won ton..."

"Your food should be out shortly - just waiting for the exterminators to finish mopping up."

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

Grannys Country Kitchen

Cookie Shop. New Year's Resolutions Broken Here. Frank, you're already giving up on your resolution to lose weight? Yes, but I'm keeping my resolution to frequently these old friends! The last ten days I've discovered that it's hard to lose weight as we get older and our eyesight declines. What does eyesight have to do with it? It's very difficult to hit a target weight when that target looks so tiny compared to my current weight!

'Either currents have wings or there's a fly in this bun!'

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

'They were in Vietnam together. Then they went into business together, retired together, and now they're on the doldrums together.'

The Chef's Missing Tooth