Kitchen Chemistry Fan Pillows

Large box of baking soda in the morgue.

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

In the DNA Kitchen

"Are you sure you want to see the kitchen? The chef is naked."

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

Protoplasm

"Ah! dehydrogenated non-milk fat solids with a soupcon of deoxyhydropesane and sweetners...just like mum used to make."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'I think we've done it, Igor! This will be the hot new sports drink of the summer!'

"Wanna do lunch?"

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

'Of course I watch what I eat. How else could I catch it?'

Wall Cluck.

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

'And this reaction releases a sufficient amount of energy to extract a teenager from his bed!'

I bake my own bread

"To prevent any complaints like "when will our ordered food be served" guests can now follow the work in the kitchen on TV."

Misread tsp as tbsp.

Electrolyte Orchestra

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

'Excuse me sir, how do you feel about artificial intelligence?'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Ducks on Trucks