Cooking Chemistry Fan Pillows

"If we want a realistic strawberry flavour we'll need to add more salicyaldehide and hydrobenzoic acid."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

Carbon Dating.

'Does this thing get channel four.'

Protoplasm

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Disaster in the kitchen.

'Id like to see you in two weeks. Try not to eat during that time.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Look at the size of this gas bill - you'll have to get rid of some of those celebrity chefs!!"

When Chelation Therapy goes wrong.

"It appears the A.C.S. has a lot of clout around here."

Electrolyte Orchestra

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Sushi bar Chef: DARN Sushi train spotters!

'Ready, steady, Operate'

Chefs

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Operating table.

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

'Celebrity chef' 'Celery chef'

'The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your actions.'

'Whoever called this job WAITING obviously never did it!'

"Well, I just assumed you wanted your toast like your coffee."

"Curl your fingers to avoid cuts when slicing or chopping...I learned that trick on a TV cooking show!"

'Enough with the eye of newt. Do you know how many calories there are in newt eyes?'

Library Books.

"So that's what they mean by organic chemistry."

'T.Radfield Burke, chemist, is the only person in all of science who does not have a theory about the extinction of the dinosaurs.'

Nit Lotion - "Reconnaissance pictures clearly show the enemy's chemical stockpile."

"We're with the Periodic Table."

'It's a blackmail note - Someone saw me going into that Fish-and-Chip shop!'