Kitchen Astronomer T-Shirts

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Alien David statue

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

The Origins of Everything

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

I made you a cake!

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

The Inexperienced Cook

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Anybody for breakfast?'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

Dog Howling the Moon way

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'