Kitchen Astronomer T-Shirts

"Well, we went through the fruit and veg, and thought we should try something more exotic - like the space-time continuum."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

Alien David statue

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"It's called geometry, Mum."

The Origins of Everything

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

I made you a cake!

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

"I'm unable to process this image."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

'The cake timer dinged, Mom, and so did my stomach.'

Dog Howling the Moon way

"I just don't want to be 'that' waffle."

The Inexperienced Cook

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup