Kingdom Curious Gifts

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'The Burrito King.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

Medieval headlines.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

"If you put little crosses on your sevens people will think you're French."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

Punch Initials - O

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

King Richard I

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"And it started out relatively harmless - pointless AI chats and some fake celebrity pornography..."

Chinese man has apple land on his head - which inspires him to invent gunpowder.

The Governor-General settles in.

Mobile.

'He was an evil king.'

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

'I'm going on a fact-finding mission at great personal risk to a land of strange beliefs and alarming rituals. It's called 'beyond the beltway.''

"Not so loud, sweetie. We're in Europe."

"The world's oldest profession?"

"Even here in Tibet?"

Henry VIII