Kingdom Curious Gifts

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'The Burrito King.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

Medieval headlines.

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

"I couldn't afford health insurance, so I became a Christian Scientist."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"If you put little crosses on your sevens people will think you're French."

Punch Initials - O

'If you're going to stare at that thing all day, at least watch something educational,,, like Japan,'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

King Richard I

'It's 10pm, does anyone know how much the U.S. dollar is worth?'

"Your Majesty, this learned committee has done deep research on the subject, and we have come to one conclusion: queens often marry down."

"Oh, you don't need to fight them—you just need to convince the pitchfork people that the torch people want to take away their pitchforks."

"And it started out relatively harmless - pointless AI chats and some fake celebrity pornography..."

"How about a discount for the little lady, pal, as your way of saying thanks for the bailout?"

'He was an evil king.'

Chinese man has apple land on his head - which inspires him to invent gunpowder.

'Time gentlemen please. Come on, don't you have any kingdoms to go to? ! '

The Governor-General settles in.

Mobile.

"Not so loud, sweetie. We're in Europe."

"The world's oldest profession?"

"Even here in Tibet?"

'It's not a crusade, you sillies! - I just want to maintain a PRESENCE in the Middle East.'

'The central processing unit is on strike. How does one negoitate with a central processing unit?'