Citizenship Curious Gifts

Michele Bachmann considers Swiss citizenship. . .

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

"Yeah, I know. bu tthe administration didn't want to appear culturally insensitive."

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

That must be my computer date... (Answers door to robot).

Do Guns Kill?

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

'All I wanted to know is if that word was naughty.'

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

Long before Newton, Yampoo discovers gravity, unfortunately the Liazo Tribe doesn't have a written alphabet.

'What makes you think you know so much?' - 'Your questions.'

"I'm enhancing my appreciation for the knowledge gathered by humankind."

'Why's the sky so high?' - 'So the birds don't bump their heads.'

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Forget it lads. We've been refused planning permission for this one!'

'Maybe we should talk to him more, Malcolm.'

Punch Initials - O

"If something is neither here nor there, where is it?"

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"When satire becomes indistinguishable from reality, there's a problem."

"Oh, it's always something now he wants to become a vegetarian."

'I understand night and day, but which came first?'

'What happens after the end of time?'