Kingdom Comrade Pillows

"If I may say so, sire, that is ONE Magna Carta."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"Bad dog."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'The Burrito King.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

'Ah, Gripes, you want to discuss a raise with me, eh? Come in, sit down, make yourself comfortable!'

'First semester, you learn the numbers. Second semester, you use them to count the days 'til school is out.'

"What good is power if you don't use it?"

'It's not cheating...My king is Henry VIII.'

'How many times have I told you to stay out of the cemetery?'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Cook and Octopus

"Talk long-term commitment to me."

That's what I call a well trained dog!!

'He spent yesterday being briefed on the threats from a cyber attack...'

"Oh, great. The boss is in one of his enigmatic, 'Guess what I'm thinking' moods again."

'Quick! 'Tushy to the ground' stance!'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Mr Yomp is in a big hurry, so give him 'speedy runaround number 39'..."

'HA! You are defenceless against my Churn Ray!'

"Say Jeeeeeez!"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Dog, dressed as vet, is about to give cat lethal injection. Cat owner says: 'Terminal? I hope you don't mind if I get a second opinion.'

"Of course I know Jim. We once built a time machine together. We go way back."

"But the people,Your Majesty! The people are not happy."

'We're like the canine unit, only tougher. Instead of dogs we use big, bad wolves.'

Henry Grumble, an editor to the bitter end.