King Of Surveys Pillows

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'I'm studying the lay of the land..'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

Surveys and economic interests

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"Shall I put that down as a 'Don't Know' then?"

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"

Surveying.