King Of Surveys T-Shirts

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

When Engineers Crack.

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

'Promise me you'll say Yes / No / Don't know ...'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Explorer with enormous magnifying glass.

"Bob wait, let's do the survey first! Sir, on a scale of 1, poor, to 10, excellent, how would you rate our chase today?"

'Shouldn't we be doing this online?'

'Please, Ma'am — I'm running out of paper!'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"Our latest survey shows our customers basically want just three things: prompt service, and apology when mistakes occur and to be treated politely..."

"A survey found 82% of people think surveys are a waste of time."

'5.40pm on the 2nd day....and still waiting for the surveyor'

'Yes. No. Sometimes. No. No. Yes. Don't know. Sometimes. Yes. Mo.'

"I see you have experience marking territory."

Surveys and economic interests

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Oh dear! Low-cost housing."

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I wonder if you would like to subscribe to a theory.'

"Rate your experience and you could win an Amazon gift voucher."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

"On a scale of one to ten. How happy would you say you are?"

'Talk about advanced technology! It even has a beer holder!'

Surveying.

"I'm the building inspector...that nest okay?"

'you should know my wife thinks I'm stupid.'

"What factors influenced your decision to use this particular exit?"

"One final question... how did you hear about us/"