King Of Faux Pas Gifts

"It's the MacArthur Foundation! They've heard about your special genius for saying the dumbest thing at the worst possible moment, and they're giving you a grant!"

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

'I knew there was part of the pattern missing!'

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

The Return Of The Minipants

'Remember that outfit, Miss Wilson, that you said you wouldn't be seen dead wearing?'

"I warned you not to buy your top hat and tails from that ex magician!"

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Eddie, what were you thinking? Either wear boots or go barefoot."

"Yes, dear. I'm pretty sure it's 'granny panties on the inside, pants on the outside.'"

'Excuse me, would you mind...?'

"Mmm..I haven't worn this tie since the firms 1997 dinner and dance..."

Fifty Gallon Head.

'George has us well diversified. We own every stock in the Misfortune 500.'

"It's an important interview, so you probably shouldn't wear a necktie that contains more material than your suit."

"You might consider new socks as well."

"Man's best friend with benefits"

"You have it backwards. When you're having an online meeting, you're supposed to look good from the waist up."

"Take my advice—never let anybody talk you into joining the Tie-of-the-Month Club."

"What? I slept seven months."

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

"It's not a cummerbund. It's my underpants."

'I would've dressed better, but my tie was dirty.'

"I couldn't find my other wig."

"But Reinhardt, you have another week and a half left of your vacation.""I had to come back, chief. They laughed at my black socks on Nantucket."

'What do you mean, I don't match? Everything I'm wearing is wrinkled.'

"Sorry, sir, but we have a strict dress code."

"I know, but my mom knitted it for me."

'When we said 'One size fits all' we didn't mean all at the same time.'

"You've got the job, but you've got to change your clothes."

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"You wear a necktie with a suit jacket and white socks with brown shoes?? The guy who shot you did it absolutely right!"