King Of Chaos Gifts

Daddy cool.

"I told you playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey was a dumb idea."

'I foresee a few more months of creating havoc without consequences, and then, yes, I see the 'cute' factor will start to wear thin...'

Brian's canine Tread-o-Sod saved him the trouble of cleaning up after Mitzi.

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'He usually doesn't follow medical advice, but when the doctor told him to learn to relax...'

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

The Working Mum

'They made it like that so the kids wouldn't bother you.'

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

man juggling career, home and children

"Well...this meeting is about...ummhh...structure and...ummhhh...preparation. Well...ummhh...at least I think so..."

'You don't mind distractions as much as me, so I didn't think you'd mind if my kids played in your office today.'

"Ahoy!"

"Well, could you give me a ballpark number?"

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

"I gotta go. I see an opening in the maelstrom."

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

Run. Freeze. Run again! Turn around. Run! No, freeze!

'I don't know why you waste your time with that watering can. The hose is much quicker.'

"His motto went from 'work hard, play hard,' to 'work hard, rest hard.'"

Potty Training.

"What a noise! Sounds like two disco dancing elephants"

Musician playing very long brass instrument.

'I guess it's time to do some filing.'

A hermit crab moves home

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark

You are Nowhere.

1000 things to Demolish before you die

'Nothing important. Just missing another deadline.'

"And where's the father of all these children that you don't know what to do with?"

"Of course working from home does have some problems."

"Miss Harris, make me a bunch of appointments I can't possibly keep."

'I don't know if there's a word for it, but it's the opposite of multitasking.'