King-loving Friend Gifts

'So you lost the war -- it's still a personal best!'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

"He's his own worst enemy."

King George I

'The Burrito King.'

"The knights of the round accent table"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'The Saxon King' pub

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

Medieval headlines.

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

"I refuse to answer on the grounds that it may tend to hurt sales of my 'tell-all' book."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'