Kindness Connoisseur Pillows

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

Who's a cutey?

Bats with blankets.

Social Worker

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Pre-Winter Ennui-'Hon, did you have the furnace checked?'

"That will be the gold standard by which all other naps are judged."

"I suffered a stroke."

"Just think how much we could save if we switched the heating off altogether."

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"A trough full of food, mud to roll around in: Who cares if we can't fly..."

Don & DixieKiss No. 274385

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Anal Retentive Astronaut.' 'Just LOOK at all this DUST!'

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"Dr. Green...5 second rule...stat!"

King Richard I

'It has a zip-out lining in case of a mild winter.'

'Small acts of kindness, officer, can go a long way toward making this world a better place.'

'I know, I left the electric blanket on too long.'

All set for the big sleep, Frank? I'm getting there. I've been storing up fat for the winter. And how about Ernie? He's trying something different this year. He's got wi-fi, a game console and virtual reality googles. He's going to cybernate.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be underappreciated by your boss?"

Junior's Towel

'Dogs have more charisma but cats have more electricity.'

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

'I see the Maids have been in!'

"It's just that your acts of kindness are so random."

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"I've always been a gnome body."

'He was an evil king.'

Blue wine