Kind Hearted Crew Gifts

Imagining a Better World Isn't Really That Hard

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Cut!

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Movie Awards. Winner. It's been a big night for Ernie! He won three times at the movie-set caterer awards! On one set he made a healthy, refreshing beverage that received rave reviews from the cast and crew. He won the "best pitcher" award for it. Did they say he won for best costumes? No, his dressings won. His sticky buns won also. For "best leading roll" performance, right? No, for best "cinnamontography"!

"Your motivation is that you're a dog and it's food."

Hollywood producer.

So, Leo catches me, devours me...wears make up?"

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

True Story Movie

'Damn ! I don't have a clue where we are.'

'Great! So that's the film... Now for the sound!'

"O.K. 'The Giant Baby from Space,' Take 1."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

'Cut!' (movie studio director)

Reality TV

'Of course being on short term contract, I don't enjoy the same benefits as the rest of you.'

'It means, like, stop filming...'

Kingsley Amis

'I'm sorry, I can't take part in your survey, I'm not your typical man in the street.'

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

"You're beating him senseless, but what you really want is his approval."

'How many times I gotta tell you? Don't pay any attention to which camera has the red light on!'

'Meet Bill, my most loyal sailor: I know he would only leave me if the boat were sinking...'

'Damn...'Frozen planet' team. I'll shake this lot somehow.'

'I appreciate you desire to volunteer with Pilots Without Borders, but being a flightless bird you haven't enough flying hours to qualify with us.'

On the Set of the Mulberry Bush

"All right, everybody- time to knock off for lunch."

'On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer, and Vixen; On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen...wait, this can't be right.'