Kids With Plans Pillows

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

A boy acting suspiciously

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

"What's your project for the science fair, Arnold?"

'As you can see, it's a boy and he seems to be doing just fine.'

'When I grow up I want to join the SWAT team!'

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Kids."

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

"It's a game where we roll the dice to see which destination wedding we should spend our savings on this year."

"I burden you with the national debt, you burden your kids with it, and so on. . ."

'Be good! Santa's watching!'

'Let's get some sheep, and don't worry if the shepherd has fire: I'll take care of it...'

Car sticker reads: "Child on board. Keep Your Distance - wish we could."

'Just a suggestion...have you ever thought of boosting attendance with a bobble-head day?'

'I'm thinking something a little more modest... say, whatever 1,000 slaves can do in 50 years.'

Kid sells underwear outside of hospital emergency doorway.

"Trust me, Elaine, having kids changes you!"

"Do you see a puppy following me home in the future?"

"To assume Leonard has a bucket list, you have to first assume he actually wants to do anything."

"If we pool our stuff, we can open a chain of toy stores."

'He's OK now, but don't let him eat anymore homework.'

"Alright, kids. Who wants to hear a scary living story?"

Lemonade Stand Becoming Starbucks

'How will we pay for her college.'

Hot trends for parents 1. Crumb detailing 2. Camo stains magically only visible in public 3. Chunky pockets stuffed with stones, squashed leaves, tiny socks, and snack wrappers....

'Hmmm... right, Wednesday, I've got 10:00 available...' - '...or I could reschedule my submissive at 11:00... yeah...' - 'Yeah... it's fine... no... he'll take it like a good little worm... ha, ha... okay... bye!'

"Big brother, can you lend me $20? But only give me $10."