Kids Who Care Pillows

Get well card for a dog

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

Boy and girl at thier studies

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

Surf Casting

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"So, what do you do for play?"

Baby Einstein. Baby Frankenstein.

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'Mom! This high resolution screen makes it seem like you're really outdoors!'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Mom's baking finally allowed us to diversify and greatly increase our neighborhood market share.'

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

Tiger Costume

"Don't worry, darling. You'll happen."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

Philosopher trading cards.

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

'Let's play doctor. You can be my malpractice lawyer.'

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

"I don't leave home without it!"

Ice Cream Tower.

The dark side of Halloween.