Health-conscious Kids Pillows

Children playing in the street

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Wash your hands

Running

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.