Health-conscious Kid Pillows

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Running

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Flash Cuisine

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."