Health-conscious Kid Pillows

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Running

Wash your hands

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."