Health-conscious Parents Pillows

"Don't you think we should do like the opthalmologist asked,and move him back from the television set?"

"I'm not sure our family's ready for kombucha, hon."

'Mom, can I have pizza for breakfast?'

"I don't know if the fish oils have helped with his concentration. . . but they've certainly helped keep the fly population down!"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Running

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

Baby Footballer

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

The Ultrasound.

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."