Kids' Show Fan Gifts

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Applause

"I'm in children's books, myself."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

"Yes, Madame, Teletubbies."

"It's your final warning...Quit playing the 'Beverly Hillbillies' theme song"

"Thanks Dave. I don't know about you folks, but I can feel it coming in the air tonight."

'It's a pretty lame disappearing act Darling: I think we'd better hire a real Magician for Timmy's birthday party...'

'The opinions expressed by Burt are not necessarily those of Ernie.'

"I like everything Big Bird's ever done."

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

'To me a re-run is only something I've already seen this morning.'

Mr. Rogers' lockdown

'Sorry, viewers, I was going to show you one I made earlier but it's been scoffed by the second assistant sound engineer.'

Good Morning Britain has just achieved something previously thought impossible...by making Piers Morgan the most likeable man on screen.

'I stopped watching Sesame Street the second I found out it was educational.'

Ostrich TV.

"This i why I always dress in bright colors."

'If we lose the malpractice lawsuit, we can always sell it to the Bloopers Channel.'

'On the Highway of Life, Broderick Crawford is always pulling me over.'

"How about that! Wanda, you also landed on cheese."

'I had to put the peas in my ears... they kept falling out my nose!'

Baby in carrier is watching TV on dad's back.

Kids lie about watching TV. Boy says: 'It's all Bob the Builder, Fireman Sam, Postman Pat ... I'm exhausted just watching it.'