Kid Wrangling Experts Pillows

That's my daughter, Alayna

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Toys in the DVD Player.

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Climbing with the baby

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

Babies

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"They can run but they won't be able to hide."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'