Child Wrangling Expert Pillows

Friends trying to have lunch with disruptive baby

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

That's my daughter, Alayna

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Toys in the DVD Player.

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Climbing with the baby

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

"Don't make me turn this covered wagon around!"

"Now you know how Daddy feels when Mommy overdraws the checkbook."

Look at it this way: You're changing the future of the nation...one diaper at a time!

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

Penguin kid to parents: 'Big deal! You're grounding me!'

'They had three puppies and four kids before me: It's almost impossible to find a piece of furniture that hasn't been chewed on...'

"You know you have to wait an hour after eating before getting out of the water, young man!"

I think these suits have feet in them so we won't leave prints

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

"They can run but they won't be able to hide."

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

Babies

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

'My own debit card would really be a great way to teach me the value of a dollar.'

'We now feel it's best that baby keeps her security blanket until she's old enough for a cell phone.'