Kicking Aficionado Gifts

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

Knights Wing Mirrors.

Don Quichotte

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Don Quilowatte

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

"Mom, this isn't what I meant when I said I wanted to be Iron Man for Halloween."

Inside voice!

Unicorn Joust

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

They're souvenir magnets from all the places we've done battle.

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

Knight Vision

Attorney Punching Bag

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

'I like a man in a suit.'

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.