Kicking Aficionado Gifts

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Knight Golfing

"NOW can I shoot you out of a cannon?"

'Isn't it cute the way they compete so hard?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Take the picture, dam it, take the picture!"

'The knights are drawing closer'

Sir Jasper Murgatroyd

Don Quichotte

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Sudok Fu: Sign up for class today!

Knights Wing Mirrors.

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

Don Quilowatte

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

"My lord, Sir Arthur is pleased to bid thee welcome to his food court."

Unicorn Joust

'But sinister gales - with that armour?'

I think he's a bit OCD. He checked my chastity belt is locked, six times!

Knight Vision

Attorney Punching Bag

'Avoid the fat, chewy ones. They'll pull the fillings right out of your head!'

"Let's make the bill easy and just split it."

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'

"I'm sorry, this is all very embarrassing but we've decided to open a pub together."

"Do you know a good taxidermist?"

"You're probably hot and I've gone on too long so I'll end with a story of the great pestilence."

'Nice to have a door opener.'

'I like a man in a suit.'

Lord Chandler's personal problems had spread to the battlefield.