Kennel Chucklers Pillows

Identity Crisis - cat in dog kennel.

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

World of Cow.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'I promise you we'll have him out of here real fast... we need the rest.'

tax

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

"I keep getting into a flap."

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

"He thinks you're playing fetch."

"Sorry for the confusion, but it's Poetry Night, not Poultry Night."

"I'm not on the train today dear, I've got flu."

Merry Christmas

'Mr Darling has gone into shock, he missed his train - it arrived and left on time!'

'Couldn't get insurance for my sled.'

"I had to get a real dog. I was allergic to my Chia Pet."

'Hey, baby-pucker up!...Come over here and give Santa a big ol'smoocheroo!'

"I didn't jump, I fell asleep waiting."

'Pool closed 3pm to 6pm. That's when we wash our sheets.'