Uniform Chucklers Pillows

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'To balance last week's twenty-six point sermon, this morning's message will be pointless.'

'I'm sorry Timmy, but if I keep going for help, you'll never learn to take care of yourself,'

Darwin first tested his theory in a letter to a magazine ('Lookalike' letter points to similarity between man and ape.)

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'It's another squirrel - from the park. I warned you not to start feeding them.'

"The cookies are always stale."

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I think cowboys are just plain lazy: Why else would you have to carry them all the time?'

"Here's the problem. Your computer isn't obsolete, you are."

tax

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

"Seats in all parts!"

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"Pandemic! That's a pretty name."

'Get with it, buddy -- that mile of highway you adopted has snow all over it!'

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

STRIP Hambone: Computer health analysis

'So, Cameron and Clegg have formed a coition.' - 'Sorry, coalition.' - 'Reminder to self. 'No more cheese before bed time.''

"Look. Jesus healed my severed leg."

'Bless you!'

'...explain to me again why you are burying the shoe you threw..'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Fisherman: 'Did the DNR say anything about the size of your fish?' Other: 'Yeah. So long.'

'Time's up, chuckles.'

All Day Parking $1. Leave keys. It may be necessary to move your car to a more convenient spot.

'He promises us manna and give us commandments - Classic bait-and-switch!'

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."