Keeping In Touch Pillows

"Quarantining together is getting worse."

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

"Dad's got a promotion. How can now mute middle management."

Woman forcing family to hike through hills.

'Can't we handle this through more impersonal channels like text messaging?'

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"...is somebody playing Wonderwall?"

"You know, if it weren't for Penny, we'd never find time like this to connect."

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

Don't tell me fibs! I know ou wrote to the Corinthians, and ya wrote to the Romans, bnot to mention to Galatians, but do you write to your mother?

"I don't know who will be obsolete first, me or my computer."

"I can't remember, did you text me, call me, tweet me, email me, or just tell me about it?"

The Exhaustive Bro Catch Up

Cable Bill.

Our manicure special today is 'Text Message Tips.' I contour your nails so you can hit all those tiny little keys!

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

'You'll be fine. Take two aspirin and call, fax, text or email me in the morning.'

Damn predictive text, did you mean to break up with me or 'brick my tit'?"

Shark SMS Text

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

Coronavirus

'Same old line - his smartphone doesn't understand him.'

"Peter's a man of few tweets, but many social media platforms."

On 'Friends Reunited' everyone can claim to be a front page maodel for GQ Magazine.

Man video conferencing - "Shall we all meet up after this?"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

Building Community Seminar.

'Email, fax, phone, text or courier?'

Hello, Rolf? This is Cecily. I was going to break up with you either on Twitter or Facebook, but my girlfriends told me I should be brave enough and do it the old-fashioned: over the telephone. ! !

'George has decided to wear his electric blanket all the time.'

"The date was confusing. We both had the same text and email alert noises."

Office Duel - Take twenty paces and text 'bang'. Whoever's phone rings first is dead.

"Mom, Dad, this is Ryan. From now he'll be managing all of my emoji and GIF responses in your ridiculously long family text message threads."

This isn't a fortune in the cookie, it's a tweet!