Keeper Of The Fins Pillows

'Where's your goldfish?'

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I think the ants are mooning me again."

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"She's just being Koi."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

Raheem Sterling

"You see, it's perfectly safe to tease him..."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

"I don't do windows."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

Overeaters anonymous meeting today at 5:00.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

'So what have you been up to?'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

"I swear, Bob, if you say "I'll think about it and circle back to you" one more time...X"

Drinking Companions

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Cat in tank sees fish form letters to spell out, 'Help'.

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

'Go on - they're organic!'

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"I think we are overfeeding the fish!"